DAY 9: A fun present for my boys when they are adults

 I keep a jar near the laundry to collect all the things that come out their pockets, what I find in the washing machine and the dryer. And I am saving it to give it them or show their wives. To royally embarrass them and laugh about it.

A keep sake memory of fun things from the past!

What can you collect and keep to remember the childhood days, to laugh about it, to talk about ?

Some ideas:

1. A shell , or a pebble from every holiday. Write the year and place on it and put it in a jar. 
2. I used to write letters to my dad (we obviously lived together) on how my mum wasn't fair to me , or when she scolded. I saw these letters a few years ago in file in my dads drawer. How cute that he saved it all these years.
3.  A page of favourite things from each year: have a list of favourite things such as favourite colour, tv show, book, food, activity. Let them answer those questions every year. You will how different or same their answers will be over the years. Add it to their school year files. See more here  .

Any other ideas?

DAY 8 : Don't panic about creating memories

Reading these 31 days of  creating memories, can cause stress and the feeling of "are we doing enough for our children" moments.  The intention is not to feel overwhelmed, stressed, not good enough at all. The intention is realise that its important and that it can be done in our own pace, strength and time. Being intentional about it is the key. 

We are great in multi tasking and I am sure like me, you too can fold laundry while doing something with your children.And thats fine when you really need to find clothes for your family to wear and they still lying on the table like a mountain that rises periodically. 

A friend and I were talking about this topic , and how we get so obsessed with other things when our children talk to us. The other Benjamin was telling me about an incident at school and how he reacted well to it and the director complemented him about the way he responded to a difficult situation. All I could think of was that "HE WASNT WEARING ANY SOCKS OR HIS SLIPPERS AT THE MOMENT"(and its autumn). Look at the height of my obsession about these silly small things. I was angry at myself for not giving him my 100% attention to him proudly talking about his actions. 

Well, I learned from my mistake and focussed on him the next time he came with something important. And I didn't even notice the milk dripping from his titled cereal bowl! Am I great or what?

Life is busy as it is and you don't want to hear someone giving you 31 ways to create moments to make  you feel guilty. You do what you can well and intentionally . These children are God's assignment to you and we have just 18 years of their life(even less now these days) to shape them, pour into them and teach them the values God wants them to have.

Day 7: Reading

Reading out aloud to your kids , since they are babies and even when you are carrying them has been proven to help their literacy skills, affinity to reading, higher awareness of sounds and letters.

Other than these scientific and academic reasons , reading a special book (a big chapter book and not only picture books), is another moment to share a special bonding time with the kids. It can be part of the routine before going to bed.

We read to them when they were tiny kids, why not continue that when they are older too . I am sure they will like it , at least until they are 10 or 11 years perhaps. All kids can be different.

They can look forward to hearing what happens next the following day. Ask questions, discuss about the events, explain new words to them and even let them share in the reading from a few lines to a paragraph. Its not a time to test their reading ability but a lovely time to snuggle with them and read for just the love of reading, hearing stories.

Choose a book with them and begin reading to them as much as you can..... These precious years of pouring into them, strengthening your bond with each child will fly away soon.

Day 6: Family Devotion

In an age where families are  busy with  hectic schedules, after school activities, church events, birthday parties, sports, having a family devotion ends up last on the priority list. Church going, Sunday school are equally important but families need to build their relationship with God together as  a family.

Adding to the Christian journey , of each family member , is praying together on a daily basis. A family devotion is a great way to share, encourage, teach, discuss and answer questions. Its a place where both adults and children can be part of the family's prayers. Being equally involved and responsible to uphold each other. A place for children to learn how to pray for others, to hear us as parents pray and to learn God's Word.  While praying , its also important to model the Lords prayer, showing them that our communication with God starts with praising Him and glorifying Him, thanking Him, telling Him our needs,

With the recommendation of a friend, we have started this devotion a couple of months back. While the children were young we used toddler devotions such as "Toddler Devotions".

"Long Story Short". This is a 10 minute family devotion from the Old Testament (There is another one for the New Testament). Its 5 days of devotions connecting to Jesus on one of the days. Pointing out to God's salvation for us.
This worked really well for that age. Now that they are 5 and 8 , we use

Some lines picked out from the description on Amazon :

"Long Story Short will help busy parents share with their children how every story in the Old Testament points forward to God's story of salvation through Jesus Christ. "

"Long Story Short is a family devotional program designed to explain God's plan of salvation through the Old Testament and is suitable for children from preschool through high school."



The family that prays together, stays together........

Day 5: Memories from everyday moments for later

Memories need to be captured. Not just because its a trend but a reminder of the wonderful way God has protected our children, the way God gave us the grace and wisdom at some of those moments. Its a way to give thanks to God and remain grateful.

Since the boys were born, I have recorded their milestones, achievements, when they were sick, that sort of thing. Of course the frequency has reduced now and not every sneeze and cough is recorded, But I try to jot down things that needs to remembered. New activity, a lost tooth, such things. I write them in a way that I am talking to them. The book will be passed on to them later on.

Some other ways that I keep these memories ;

1. I have  a book of all the funny things they have said. Its hilarious to go back and look through them. 
2.  A file with each of their school year and a few worth keeping pictures, first writings, report cards and school pictures. Read here for a post on that.
3. I bought two copies of Dr. Seuss "Oh the places you'll go", and I get their teachers from every year to write on a page. A memory from each of their teachers. 
4. I take a photo of all their art work and have it on an app called Artkive. this app also makes all the art work into a nice book. A perfect way to store all the art work without the bulk and storage issues. 

What about you? Do you have a special way to save these memories? I would love to hear them. Please do share in the comment box.

Day 4: The words we use

The boys somehow, mostly remember the not so nice things that I say. And manage to forget all the other wonderful, meaningful, praise , kind and sensitive things I say. Words matter and its stick real close to their heart.  I don't want them to grow up and say "Mum hardly said anything nice to us, Oh she was so negative all the time". "And what about all that instructions and orders she barked at us all the time?"

What can I do to overcome that and make sure they have good memories of the things we say as parents?

How do I become a parent who  uses words of encouragement, words of praise and wisdom. Words of kindness and love?

Though we have to be careful of going over the top with praising them. Strike a balance in complementing them in things they do. I heard somewhere that if we wear three rubber bands on one hand, we needs to have all three of them moved to the other hand by the end of the day. We move each one of them, when we have complemented them, or praised them for something they have done. Three good things. Now , we can say three things. That easy. Ya, right! You'd think so. I tried it and it was hard the first few days.

Praise is sort of a feedback for kids. We want to build their confidence and give them positive meaningful praise for the things they do.

I have to choose the incidents or those things to let go for the greater good. Avoiding to nitpick at every little thing. Imagine hearing ourselves, if all that we say throughout the day was recorded. Shasta a great place to start in realising the way we use words, not only with our children, but spouses and others around.

Day 3: Date Nights

Before David was born we started doing date nights. Well, we did it only a few times. But the intention was to do it once every month for each child, each parent. In the busyness of life , its so hard to get one -one- time with the boys.

We went for a local festival last Sunday and took a silly picture

Benjamin and I once went to the book store, and sat at the coffee shop and talked. I asked him how he felt when I was in the hospital with David. And he opened up. And shared his feelings exactly. We talked about it. Later, we went and bought one of his favourite book series. I did the same with Elijah another time. And asked him the same question. He said "I don't know ". Mind you , he was only 4 years old. We left it at that and continued our evening. I am going to pick it up from this month.

It is such a precious time to have with each child. They look forward to it and becomes a tradition. They know its special time with Mama. You don't have to buy them something every time or spend money on it.

Here are some ideas: (Would you add to it in the comment box?)

1. To the movies
2. Pancake house(Common here in the Netherlands) Or go to an ice cream place 
3. Going out for walks, discovering a new part of the neighbourhood/parks/interesting buildings
4. Board game night
5. Bake with them
6. Go out for lunch/dinner
7. Go shopping
8. Geocaching (which I would love to explore and start)
9. Go to a book store
10. Get a manicure done together (for girls)
11. Make something creative
12. Go out to the local zoo , or petting zoo.
13. Volunteer at a soup kitchen (I would like to find an alternative to something here in the Netherlands)
14. Do a photoshoot with you and that child
15. Slouch on the couch and play on the Ipad/Videogames and have one of those "sometimes junk food". (Go ahead, I give you permission. I am sure boys will definitely love this)