Reaching out to remember things of the past and things to come

It' s been 6 months and 5 days since I posted on this blog. And there is a good reason for that. Lots of good reasons. We went on holidays to Rothenburg and Koblenz , Germany during the carnival holidays late February. We had a lovely time exploring different place, and taking long walks across streams.

By the time we came back, I was tired. Really tired and sleepy. All the time. To backtrack a bit, we have been planning to have number 3 added to our family of 4. So, that could be the link to all the sleeping and tiredness. On March 7th , I did multiple tests and found out, sure enough we were going to have that number 3. Happy and blessed to get pregnant easily and quickly was added to my list of "things to be grateful for".

After that time just flew. I slept wherever I sat. Mornings were battle sessions with evil nausea. And I was wiped out taking take of the boys and the house.Thankfully, I had great friends who cooked dinners and helped in many ways.

Very soon, it was time for the two week break in May, and we decided to go to Kuwait for the holiday, as I just received my Dutch passport. That meant, I didn't have to get visas and could just go immediately. And I could eat all the food I was craving for. 2 weeks at my parents was lovely. We stayed home most days and went out to malls in the evening. Other evening we were invited for dinner at houses of old friends. My dad had sudden work in Germany and that meant they could come back with us. And they stayed two weeks with us. Since I left home for university at 18 and after getting married, this is the first time I have stayed for an extended time of 1 month with my parents in a long time. And it felt good. Like old times.

After they left, it was fast forward to winding up work at my school and with kids before the start of the summer. Need I say more about the summer? It was just fun, relaxation, playdates, and more fun and more relaxation. Bobby was away in Shanghai for two weeks for work. And after he came, we went to the Rijks Museum and Nemo, the science centre

My parents went to the US to be part of my brothers Phd graduation ceremony.And also to celebrate my dads 60th birthday. I was meant to go too! They sure did celebrate in style.

The last week of summer, was our Bible club at church run by our friends and loads of volunteers. Space Academy(story of Daniel in Babylon) was fabulous. I worked with the 4-5 year olds. Even though the program was from 9:30- 12:00, we stayed for lunch, helped clean up and plan for the next day. It was around 4:30 most days before we got home. It was fun just to be with friends and get to know other people more. The kids of course loved it, as they got to have a whole day of playing with their friends for 5 days. The funny thing was as we would leave for home, they would ask if they could have a play date. What was the whole day then?Waking up early for Space Academy prepared us for the school week which started Monday. Though Elijah did prefer to go to Space Academy rather than school.

As we come to the end of the first week of school after summer, things have settled into a routine. We continue to prepare for the baby's arrival in November. And look forward to things in store for us. Exciting!

Elijah not small anymore

 Elijah our youngest , turned 4 a few weeks ago. And here in the Netherlands, that means he starts school and many other things. He was ready for school since he was 3. Not just pre school, but real school. Every other day or so , when we went to drop Benjamin at school, he would ask ," Am I going to school today?". And I would reply, "not today, but soon". And finally that day arrived, 3 days before his birthday.

But a few weeks before, we received a card from the school welcoming us to his new class. So we decided to go and have look at the new class and the new teacher. He was'nt as excited as I thought he would be. He was whinny and cranky. Said he didnt want any birthday cake or any superheroes on it. He wanted a dog. So I told him he already had a toy doggy and hadnt played with it for so long.
Actually, he wanted a real dog. A big brown dog with no spots and a little bark.I am not a fan of animals and definitely not having one as a pet. And especially a big one with a little bark. Too many specifications. He was nervous now that he was actually going to see his class.
He wouldnt get out of the car, and when I could finally get him out , we made the slowest walk from the car to the school.
We stayed outside the class and watched all the children enter as the bell rang. He had a glimpse of his teacher. He began to loosen up and wasnt all cheerful, but at least not tense.I spoke to the teacher while he clung to me. And in 5 minutes we were back in the car and on our way home.

A week before his birthday he also started his first swimming lesson. Not swimming lessons with Bobby in the pool with him, but he alone and me sitting in the gallery. Of course,

2 years old

  I could sit on the bench next to the pool for the first day. He absolutely loved it. He did everything that the teacher asked him to and was practicing so hard.

The following Monday, his first day at school, he woke up crying and complaining that his foot hurt. I had to carry him dowstairs and feed him porridge.But after a while, after he ate and I spoke to him, he got better and started jumping and hopping around. Bobby was almost ready to not send him to school.... There was a pattern here, so I knew. He was excited so much, he kept singing and hopping all the way to school. It was a sight to see him all grown up, with his new spiderman bag across his shoulder. He even told me what he wanted  for lunch. Seeing him like this I was too shocked to cry.

He was in his element and his moment had come.

And I realized, there goes my son...... I wont have him with me like I used to before. But I was quickly reminded that he had every other Friday off. Phew..... Another 2 years of that. I can hold on a little longer.


May our sons love God and seek Him dilligently. (Inspired from Proverbs 8:17 )


Batman Cake

Spiderman Cake







Family Devotions

Over the years we have been struggling to maintain a family devotional time . I would start and be dedicated to it for a few days and then Life happens and its long forgotten.

With my "One word" focus PURSUE,  by God's grace we have been able to meet together as a family in the morning everyday since we got back from India. Except for Sundays.

We have been following the reading plan "walk with Jesus:21 days through Mathew, with accompanied 1:50 minutes videos by Phil Vischer. (creator of Veggie tales and What's in the Bible)

We watch the video, read the Bible passage corresponding to that event in Mathew and discuss about it, ending with Bobby or I praying. We also ask the kids to say one thing they are grateful for, or let them pray a few lines when they wish to. We also have walked through "The Lord's Prayer" with the kids. Explaining it through a book  we have. Benjamin now knows this prayer by heart and Elijah knows a few random verses.

There are other reading plans that you can choose from, which might suit your family.

By having a family devotion time, we expect to instill important values in our children on the importance of prayer together as a family, and individually, modeling how to pray and leaning God's Word.
There are certain values we want to teach our kids, such as we go to church every Sunday irrespective of whether we "feel like it "or not. Of course if we are away or not well, then its different.  We try not to "say yes" to birthday parties or foot ball games on a Sunday morning.
You might disagree with me, but these are some family rules we try to stick to. I do know it will become more difficult to stick to, as the kids grow up. But hopefully , this is ingrained in them, so they themselves know the importance and choose not to be somewhere else at this time. So, having a quiet time every day will be natural and normal. So, even if they lose their way , they will remember and come back.
 All we can do as parents is model, pray, pray and pray.


 

Visit

Slinging over from Lisa Jo Baker's world of Five minute Fridays.

VISIT

GO

December in India was more than a visit. It was the wedding of the year. My baby brother got married. About the wedding is another post yet to be written. Weddings mean lots of family times. Everybody from all over come together to share in the festivities. Christmas. Wedding, New Year. Other weddings and functions that may be planned earlier or spring up in a few days notice. Weddings in India can be planned today and done the next week or so.With 1000 people attending and joining for the reception. Thats how we are. 

Visits with the extended family can go either way. Total bonding, loving times, reminiscing over the good times .... It can also be filled with drama and "she said" , "he said". The unspoken  goal for all is to keep it simple and peaceful. But the outcome can differ.

What I have learnt over this month is to be extra nice, listen without saying anything back to the older folk, joke around less or never to others. Others might lovingly call you names and make fun of you. But its different when you say something. For a person who is an extrovert, talking with restrictions and with high care can be stressful. An extrovert can either not talk at all, which is immediately noticed by all, or because of the stress of checking on every word they speak , a 100 times before it comes out, might end up with spillage of potential hurtful conversations. Staying in the middle is hardly achievable.

So, lessons for next time ?

Smile lots, nod lots , throw a few short to the point compliments, gracefully walk away from potential hazardous conversations.  And you will definitely make mistakes and definitely learn new lessons for next time. Talking to family is an art that needs to be learnt and covered with prayer. 

STOP

Pursue

New Year resolutions are words in the past. At least for me. I refuse to resolve. Because I don't . I make great goals and lists. And I am hard core about it for a few weeks. Then, the expected, I fall flat on my face and refuse to pick myself up and try.  So, I have chosen the easy way and choose not to resolve.

This year, again I was strong and did not waver to all the buzz around New Year resolutions, SMART goals, baby goals. But then I heard somewhere, to ask yourself  2 questions. I can do that, as long as I don't have to make goals and make myself a better person. 

What worked last year?
What didn't work last year ?

I had no idea. I had no idea. Did I just type that again?
I just sailed across last year, passing along. I wasn't working on achieving anything, just surviving day to day. Doing what needed to be done. Mind you, I was happy and we were blessed in many ways. But what did I achieve? Staying happy and being grateful, of course.  But just the thought of passing along, seemed a bit out of place.

I like the thought of asking God what I need to focus on this year. What do You need me to do ? How do You want me to grow? Am I approaching Your perfect plan? Warmer? Cold? It would have been great to hear back clear audible answers. You tell me and I will obey. As that slips out, I track back and think, what if He  asks me to do something difficult, takes something away? Of course, if He asks , He will provide and give me power along the way(first sermon from Bill Hybel, Willow Creek this year).Everything that I have comes from Him. I know the theory, but am I ready for the practical.
Usually, this conversation in my mind, that I type out takes a few minutes, but it is usually on slow play and drags throughout the year. And then its time to think the same thing again next year.

I think I am getting tired of just sailing. I am grateful, my family and I  have been blessed beyond and more. But......

So, here I am after stumbling on One Word 365 , and praying about it, confirming with various other things, God wants me to PURSUE.

PURSUE
                 MY FAMILY
                 HEALTHY LIVING
                 FOR HIM
                 WRITING


a long list ,I know

As One Word 365 says:
Choose just one word.
One word that sums up who you want to be or how you want to live. One word that you can focus on every day, all year long.
It will take intentionality and commitment, but if you let it, your one word will shape not only your year, but also you. It will become the compass that directs your decisions and guides your steps.
Discover the big impact one word can make.
One word. 365 days. A changed life.

A sense of "pursuing" in everything I do.Hopefully, I will, with God's help, work towards it, and try to write about it.

 PURSUE: to try to get or do (something) over a period of time

                : to be involved in (an activity)

Landing

The trip of the year is finally here. After a successful calming down, planning and of course God , we were able to do the Indians outreach for Christmas at church , the Christmas fair, wind up at work with reports and invoicing , things to do with the house....... The list tend to get terribly long. It gives one such joy to cross off every one of those " things to do "off the board.

Even  so there is always something to do at the last minute. We left home Wednesday morning 1.5 hours later than expected. Hoping that we wouldn't miss our flight , we got stuck in the traffic en route  Dusseldorf. As Bobby left us at the airport entrance  to rush and check in, he left to park the car at the airport parking. Thankfully, they didn't need to see him to check him in. With 1.5 hours left to boarding, we could even sit down to have breakfast. Chocolate croissant covered the table. We were famished and so were the kids .

The kids settled into their seats and were excited to take off, so they could begin their unlimited TV viewing.  With gaps of lunch and doing coloring and  puzzles, I was glad that their eyes weren't blood shot red when we reached Abu Dhabi. An  hour delay to catch our next flight, we hung around the gate. The kids were surprisingly fine . As we settled into our flight the kids slept off. I could at least feed  Benjamin some   dinner while Elijah was completely out.

My goal was to watch the maximum number of movies I could watch.  So I watched man of steel, the Great Gatsby and the new Star Trek movie.( I didn't have time to check the exact name as I was rushing to finish the movie before we landed.)

After a quick exit at the immigrations and the baagage collection area we entered Gods own country with gush of good old humidity. We were welcomed by my father in law and brother in law.

It was wonderfully to see family and especially my very first nephew , little Noah .

On Saturday, my parents came to see us and invite people from around  Trivandrum. The boys were overjoyed to see their grandparents .

We visited Bobby's aunt and uncle. His uncle had suffered a stroke this year and his road to recovery has been good,but still taking its time. Even with a week right side, they aren't bound at home and try to still continue to get a taste of their traveling life they were used to earlier.  Its been hard to see them tired and not like their usual active self , but trusting God to care for their needs .

We visited another aunt and  uncle , but this time there wasn't a grand mother to hug and chat with. The house did feel different without her , she lived a full life without any major illnesses and slipped away when it was her time.

This morning my parents came to visit us and also invite a few people from here for the wedding. Visiting old friends and cousins are always lovely. But it was saddening to see my great grand aunt. My grandmother is her niece, but they were the same age. They lived in Singapore for many years and we call her Singapore Mummy. My grandmother and her are more like sisters. They  are great friends too.She was always eager to see us and loved to see me looking nice and plump. She wasn't

much for skinny girls . Her  cotton sarees  were neatly worn and stood stiff, well pleated. She stayed by herself in their ancestral home until recently. How can such a healthy person full of life just shrink so much. She just shrunk. Her collar bone sticking out, her arms dangling through the sleeves of her night dress. I had to search for that smile on her face.

My own grandmother who was so active until a few years ago, preaching at  woman's fellowships, going for a baptism and then a wedding , all in one day, suffer from early dementia. She now lives

in Kuwait and prefers to sleep all day and hardly speaks. There are a few active back to her usual self days which are treasured by family.

I don't think I have seen, or remember seeing close family change so much as they age. Maybe  it just didn't stick in my mind when we would come for the summer to India when we were still kids.

In a few days we will be going to my parents place and the festivities will begin.  It's hard to believe that my baby brother is getting married. Looking forward to all the fun and welcoming Ria and her family into ours.

Tree

I had a friend who lived in the outskirts of Eindhoven in a village called Valkenswaard. There were huge fields behind their house and her parents owned a plot shared with other people to garden and grow produce.I think like a small square, like allotments. On my way back once , we passed through this field which captivated me. One big flat green field with this huge tree heavy with growth, like a cloud. For a few seconds thats all I saw , and that image stuck. We would pass through that field many times more, after that and I would stop talking and savor the moment.

These past two weeks have been rough in many ways and accumulated to a pressure cooker moment and let off steam yesterday. A whiplash from a silly accident. Cant imagine how two stationary cars at a red light can cause an annoying whiplash. A foot slips and the car behind me bumps into mine. I have excellent knifes, thanks to my Mums and Tots Bible study group as a housewarming gift, and twice in the span of two week, I cut my finger. Deep. And you can't find a band aid at that moment. Even Sesame Street band aids. Falling off the stairs on our newly renovated ,painted, smooth stairs caused bumps and bruises. One time that I was thankful for being a not so slim person.

Being the month of November, with its fair share of Christmas events and fairs to bake for, preparing for our trip to India to celebrate my brothers wedding, seems all exciting. These are things I have been waiting for all year. Dreaming about the family events ,fun and family times at the wedding of the year.  To bake Christmas cakes and decorate them. And it all seems too much suddenly.Even though I only work 13 hours a week, its quite intensive working with kids with special needs. And the driving within the Eindhoven ring to drop the kids off school and to the daycare at two ends of Eindhoven, at peak hours is quite straining .I imagine viewing satellite images , and the government suspecting, why this sky blue Ford Fiesta  goes round the ring road constantly. I remember a certain person saying,"Don't burn both sides of the candle". Well, I haven't quite reached there, but close.

And thats when, after reading the word of the day, "TREE"  sparked the image of that tree immediately. A place of solitude and rest for the body,mind and soul.The study I did long ago,"A passionate life" says," We need to learn when it is our pruning time. Pruning is not automatic for the branch. Left on its own, the branch would continue to grow, increasing in size , but decreasing in strength, endurance , and health until it would be  unable to hold the fruit it is intended to bear. From abiding we grow. From growing we bear fruit. From bearing fruit we are cut back.  Healthy growth must be cut off in order to make more for future growth.

I haven't gone to that tree in years, but I got my share of that view at Cell group yesterday.

I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother.....
                                                                                             Psalm 131:2


I am joining Lisa Jo Baker and hundreds of other women, on the weekly Five minute Fridays. A word uttered by Lisa Jo and women write their share of unedited five minute worth in this space.