A lifetime

On Monday, at 04:30 the phone rang. My heart twists horribly whenever the phone rings so early in the morning. And I wish people are calling just for a chat as they forgot about the time difference. It was Bobby's dad phone and I thought of many possibilities. All not good. Its crazy how much one can imagine the many thoughts and scenarios that pass through your head half asleep. I am amazed at the capacity of the brain. Bobby's grandmother passed away in her sleep in the early hours. She was 90 years old.

The first time I met her was at my wedding in 2005.Then she was able to walk and go everywhere. She joked so much and scolded people at the same time. She spoke to me like she knew like her other grand kids.

Every year we visited her and she did need a reminder of who I was and then she was like her usual. She jokingly complained about her daughter in law, and her daughter in law complained about her. And they would both laugh. There was a lot of laughter when she was in the conversation.

The last time we visited her was July 2012. Her memory had faded. But she still spoke. She was restricted to her room and the living room and she needed help with bathing and doing everything else.
We were happy that our kids could see her and know her. She was their great grand mother.

Over the last year she would have episodes of high blood pressure and temporary memory loss. Caring for her full time was hard on Bobby's uncle and aunt. And they always had to have someone near her at all times. She would stay with my parents in law, when they had to go somewhere on longer periods.

It's  easy to say that she wasnt sick and was lucky that she died in her sleep. But I am sure her children and grand children feel the loss.
 

July 2012 visit

December 2005 Our wedding

July 2012 visit

She

She walked into the classroom, with her long braids and glasses and a white coat on top of a yellow salwar.She had my same last name and her first name started with the same letter as my first name. We were together constantly for the next 4 years, to church , to internship out postings. Sitting at the front steps of the Admin building waiting for her mum to come out after meetings.Waving goodbye as her father picked them up to go home. I was already missing her as I walked back alone to the hostel. I cried at her wedding sad that she was going so far away, that she was someone else's and not mine anymore, but also, because  I wasn't married yet.

She sat across me in church and immediately covered me under her mama hen feathers. We watched bold and the beautiful and Oprah, licking at  a clay pot of spicy fish curry. Her husband slept on the couch as she let me sleep in their one bedroom home on their comfy bed with the air conditioner when I was so sick. She stayed awake most of the time. I cried at my wedding , as she helped me with my saree and makeup, thinking when I would see her again, since I was moving so far away, but also because I was afraid of the change.

She sat opposite me at a friends wedding wearing a black Chinese  dress. She gave me a tiny blue CD with her mix of Worship songs,not so long after. We loved window shopping.... not for clothes but for stationary. Cute notebooks. Cute pens. We enjoyed a  glass of wine most  Fridays when she came for the weekend from another city where she worked. I cried at her wedding, sad that she was going so far away, that she was someone else's  and not mine anymore, but also because I swore I wouldn't make friends again.

She walked into church with her tribe and I knew that thing that  stirred within was good as well as painful.I stayed away but couldn't for long. 2 years later, a month ago I said good bye. I stop by the  covered drum set at church  every week and say hi.

She was in a brides gown , as she welcomed me to this new country. I just arrived from Kuwait that morning.

She sat with her new born as I visited her for the first time, tagging along with my husband.

She sat at the piano in the dark corner in church.

All these women and more have  added to my life. Have played out their purpose in my life. Some continue to, for which I am thankful.